love & other drugs
by sarsaparillia
Summary: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.
1. mirrors

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: kawghfkajlnhflak.  
**notes**: drug-addled Sakura inspires me to write drabbles.

**title**: mirrors  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

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You know the thing about Ohio?

_hey baby.  
what'cha doin' tonight?  
(because it's all whispers and smoke and mirrors and there's nothing else to do)  
hey baby._

The thing about Ohio is that there's nothing to do.

_hey baby.  
what'cha doin' tonight?  
(sex, love, control, vanity)  
hey baby._

Nothing to do, except get high.

_hey baby.  
_


	2. cherry meth

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: les.  
**notes**: helloooooo ohio.

**title**: cherry meth  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

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It wasn't even really a party.

Not really.

Mostly, it was a bunch of teenagers, trapped under the empty Ohio sky, trying to persuade the sun to never rise. Mostly trying to persuade tomorrow to never come. Mostly trying to make the night last forever.

Mostly.

A girl lay on the shag carpeted floor, counting the bottles on the counter—_one two three eight twelve twenty-two wait that's not right what comes next_—and giggling softly. The pounding music from the rave in the basement echoed up and through her body, little tremors on her skin. Sasuke looked down at her.

"Sakura, get up."

"Don't wanna," she replied, staring at the ceiling. "You come down here."

"Sakura." Sasuke was exasperated. "Get up."

"Nope," she sang. "You're gonna have to force me up, and that's not gonna hap-pen!"

Sasuke sighed, and reached down to drag her upwards. But while Sakura was generally a small person, she did have gravity on her side.

"Come be my pillow, Sasuke," she giggled.

He was already down low, knees pressed into the shag carpet. Sakura tugged on his wrists again, nails dug into his skin. Sasuke winced and allowed her to drag him the rest of the way to the floor.

She wiggled under his arm, and smiled at him. "My drinking is killing me."

"Your smoking is killing you," Sasuke countered.

"What _isn't_ killing me?" Sakura laughed and pressed her face into his neck. He smelled like cigarette smoke and cold air, and Sakura rubbed her nose against the spot below his ear because she knew it made him shake.

It was always like that—she did things to make him angry, did things that would drive any other sane person crazy.

Sakura was a messy person.

Sasuke didn't really like messes.

But he did like Sakura.

And so she was again the exception to every rule.

Sakura was up and flitting away seconds later like a coked-up butterfly, frail and weak-winged. She looked over her shoulder and smiled with glazed eyes and Sasuke.

He groaned.

She was already gone.


	3. snow

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: eleni.  
**notes**: i'm living at my bff's house this week. don't expect too much.

**title**: snow  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

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He found her playing beer pong on the pool table. Or at least, she was trying—the guys playing pool seemed to be humouring her.

Sasuke sighed, and went to pull her away from it.

"But Sasuke, I want to _play_!" she insisted. She looked up at him with old eyes and a liquid smile, and reached up to tug on his bangs.

"Sakura," Sasuke warned and jerked away from her.

It was just habit.

But Sakura pouted and flounced off into the dark recesses of the house.

Sasuke was very tempted to leave—to just go, leave her there, wait and see what happened. But then he thought about all the trouble she could get into.

He couldn't just _leave_ her there.

She would _actually_ get in trouble.

Sasuke sighed, and went after her.


	4. dex

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to the boy who is the smile i don't want.  
**notes**: um. yeah.

**title**: dex  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

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Sakura stood in the middle of the floor with her hands on her face. Swaying back and forth on her tiptoes to the pounding of the bass, eyes closed, shaking, strung-out, she was the picture of all that was wrong with the world.

It was like dancing along boardwalks with starlight stitched into her eyes.

Sakura liked starlight.

Ino was a flash of glitter and white teeth from far away, and Sakura reached, reached, reached towards her, only to tumble into a group of boys with a shout of laughter.

The glow-paint on her skin shined sickly in the flashing strobe-light.

Streaked through her hair, it was everywhere; across the bared skin of her stomach, drawn in smiles and almost-recognizable signs up her arms—finger marks across the lower half of her face, down her throat, across her chest, on her clothes, handprints on her legs.

Sasuke stood to the side, and watched her. She stood out from the others, among them too high and too drunk and too uncaring and too past feeling to notice the way she swung her hips.

Sakura tipped her face up, raised her arms to the sky, and _exploded_.


	5. china white

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to every who sticks with my bitching.  
**notes**: trannies FTW.

**title**: china white  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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Sasuke caught her on the way down. She was laughing softly, shaking with the start of a low.

"You shouldn't be so nice to me."

"You shouldn't be so annoying."

"Ino found glow-paint."

"You found the dex."

She smiled in a sleepy way. "It's only E. Not like it can really hurt me."

Sasuke snorted. Not like it could hurt her—of course she'd think that. "Not 'til it kills you, anyway."

"Won't kill me. Too much other stuff goin' on," Sakura murmured. She clung to him with a shiver, freezing cold despite the summer heat.

Sasuke shook his head to himself, and gathered her up. He tucked in all her ragged edges, fingers smearing glow-paint into the creases of her lips.

Fragile; that was the word for Sakura.

People moved around them, clutching and whimpering and hissing, kissing, loving, fucking on the dance floor in time to the bass.

"Please, please, please…" Sakura whispered in his ear, mouth wet and hot and wanting and Sasuke's blood rushed.

"Shut up," he whispered back, achingly gentle. His arms wrapped around her shaking-from-the-low body. Sasuke shifted them to the edge of the basement, and listened to her breath.

"I wanna go back… Kiba has some more… wouldn't hurt…" she whispered again, glaze-eyed.

Sasuke's grip on her waist involuntarily tightened. No, no, no more, because more would have her on an overdose; more would kill her. No, no, no more. He cradled her to his chest, small and broken and fragile, and brought her to the stairs.

"I'm taking you home," he grumbled into her hair.

Paint-streaked hair, once pink, was rainbow—a myriad of almost-whites. She was still trembling. Her hands were shuddering with it. "Okay," she said. "Okay."

If this was what dying was like, Sasuke didn't want it.


	6. angel dust

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to the woman who told me i could.  
**notes**: she's a desperate girl with a need to die.

**title**: angel dust  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

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Sakura dozed against the leather interior of Sasuke's truck. In the half awake but dreaming state that always came after her lows, she shivered beneath Sasuke's jacket, eyelids drooping.

"You haven't stopped shaking," Sasuke muttered to her.

"Hmn," she drowsed, and ran her fingers through her hair. Flakes of dried glow-paint crinkled and came away at her touch. "Ugh. This stuff is nasty."

"Hn," Sasuke grunted. He shot a glance at her.

She was all elbows and knees; too skinny for a girl her age. He could see her veins just beneath the frail film of her skin, pale blue raised lines that criss-crossed her arms. She looked like a little girl, dwarfed beneath his jacket.

"Put your seatbelt on," she told him.

It was almost an order, and Sasuke chuckled a little. She sounded like she used to, when they were children. She sounded like she used to, before—before the dust and the coke and the liquor.

She sounded like who she used to be, and it almost made Sasuke sick.

He clicked his seatbelt into place to placate her, and gunned the engine.

"Where are we going?" Sakura asked. Her voice was tiny.

"I dunno," Sasuke replied. "I dunno."


	7. torch

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to the interwebz.  
**notes**: written ages ago. it still applies.

**title**: torch  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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It was a year earlier, late May.

Sakura wasn't sure what she was waiting for, but she was sitting on her bed with her knees up to her forehead, and shaking, shaking, shaking. Like it was supposed to mean something. Like she was supposed to be feeling something.

It wasn't even grief, not really.

Because half the time, it feels like this, like _this_, like exploding into glimmers of sparkle-lights, rainbow and raining down and down and down.

Teardrops on her hands. Clear, cold.

Her nose was red.

_Fuck_.

She was puffy and blotchy and _her nose was red_ and boys were _so stupid_ and seriously, Sakura didn't even _get_ it, you know? She didn't even _get_ it.

Boys were _so stupid_.

Her phone was buzzing.

Twelfth time today, and it wasn't even noon, yet.

She didn't answer it.

She was still mad at him.

Everything was quiet for a minute, and Sakura sat in her bedroom. The sun faded behind the house next door. The room was dim.

"I hate you both _so much_," she hissed to the empty air, vehement.

Her dreams were killing her.

The phone stilled, and Sakura took two deep gulps of air—_one, two_—because breathing, breathing was necessary, right? She waited for a moment, frozen, and listenedhopedwished that all would remain silent.

But it didn't, because the phone buzzed again.

Sakura almost tore her hair out, and threw her phone across the room.

The accompanying crash was very satisfying.

She lay back on her bed, and stared at the purple-grey ceiling, half in shadow and burning with the last streaks of sunset. She lay there and stared and thought of them both, hair blonde and black and shining in the Ohio sun. The stupid fuckers were gone—_gone_—and she was to be left alone for the summer, for the next year.

She was never alone for the summer. Ohio was boring in the summer. There was nothing to _do_.

No-thing.

She lay there and wondered if they'd come back alive.

Her boys.

Sakura stretched towards the ceiling, and closed her fist around something that wasn't there.


	8. ever clear

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: les. i'm sorry, babe, i hope you feel better… :(  
**notes**: i hate the cold. I HATE IT.

**title**: ever clear  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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She was Sakura during the day time. With hair clean and shining and _pink_ in the sunlight, she laughed. With her arms slung around Naruto and Sasuke's necks, she was on par with summertime.

During the day time, she screeched at Ino and jumped off the dock with all of Naruto's clothes in tow. During the day, she plotted pranks with Karin and sang bawdy songs that made Hinata flush the colour of a tomato. During the day, she was motion and life incarnate.

But only during the day.

Because as soon as the sun went down, the Sakura of the daytime died.

Sasuke would never understand how the Sakura that lived in the daytime and the Sakura that had control during the night coexisted. He always thought of them as two different people—two different people entirely.

(He sometimes wondered if she was schizo. Fuckin' shrinks.)

Nighttime Sakura looked up at him from Ino's bathroom floor, water bottle of ecstacy-spiked vodka in hand.

"Hi, Sasuke," she said, innocent.

But she was never innocent when she was like this. Nighttime Sakura and Sasuke didn't really ever get along.

"I'm taking you home," he said.

Just like every other night.

"Don' wanna," innocent Sakura told him, blinking.

"You don't have a _choice_," Sasuke replied in an almost-snarl, and hoisted her up and over his shoulder.

As Sasuke shoved her in the passenger seat of his truck, she smiled at him. She smiled at him like she was twelve again, like he'd never left for the company, like _she still loved him_.

She sat there in the passenger seat (again), underneath his jacket (again), and smiled.

Sasuke couldn't help wondering where he'd gone wrong.


	9. pink robots

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: slurpees at below-freezing temperature—hell yes, i'm canadian.  
**notes**: EW CRAMPS. KILL. HISS. DEATH. DIE BITCHES, DIE. also, defs addicted to Harvest Moon, again.

**title**: pink robots  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

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Sakura woke to a slat of sunlight across her eyes and a bad taste in her mouth.

Waking up in strange houses was not an uncommon thing for Sakura. She sat up and rubbed tired eyes—her hands came away black. She grimaced, and detangled herself from the other slumbering limbs and bodies that had cushioned her throughout the night.

She had no idea where Sasuke was.

It was off-kilter—Sasuke was always around.

Sakura shook her head, and padded towards the center of the main floor; the kitchen would probably be empty, and she could probably scrounge something.

She pushed the door open, and blinked at the girl sitting at the table.

It was Hinata.

"Hey," Sakura croaked. She cleared her throat, and tried again. "Hey. I didn't know you were—?"

"H-here?" Hinata laughed softly. "Th-there's coffee in the pot, a-and there should b-be, um, ci-cigarettes—somewhere?"

Coffee and cigarettes. Hinata was a lifesaver. Sakura mumbled her thanks, and poured herself a mug. It was cooling fast, and Sakura didn't have any steam to blow away.

"N-Naruto called m-me. He t-told me you'd be h-here," Hinata murmured in explanation, head down.

"Did he now," Sakura murmured. She pulled a cigarette out of the battered package, and put it to her lips. "Gotta light?"

"S-sure."

Sakura took a drag, and held it in her lungs.

It was such a nasty habit.

Just another reason not to stop.

"So where are the boys?" Sakura asked, finally.

"G-gone," Hinata replied.

"Are they coming back?" she asked again, but she already knew the answer. Gone meant _gone_, like they'd been _gone_ last year.

"I—I don't kn-know."

Sakura shook her head, bitter. The cigarette tasted worse than ash in her mouth—tasted like death and regret and rage. She asked the rhetorical question aloud "Why am I not surprised?"

And the cycle started again.


	10. kryptonite

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to not doing homework.  
**notes**: listen to robyn. do it. do it NOW.

**title**: kryptonite  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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There was one day of summer where Sasuke didn't want to be in control.

Only one day.

He sat on the back porch, and watched the sun disappear over the horizon—it was almost midnight, almost time for That Day to start.

A hand on his shoulder startled him, and Sasuke looked up at his older brother.

"Don't die," was all that Itachi uttered, staring straight ahead.

Sasuke grunted noncommittally. Dying? No, he wasn't going to allow himself to die; that was cowardly. But coming close to dying? Coming close to dying was perfectly allowable.

Sasuke stood up, and went to find someone to forget with.

/ / /

She found him on Ino's bathroom floor, higher than a kite.

"You're so dumb, Sasuke," she whispered. Her fingers scrabbled at his wrists. "C'mon, you need to get up, you're freaking me out. I'm supposed to be the one who does shit like this—not you. You're supposed to be the smart one. Get _up_, Sasuke."

"It's today, Sakura," he slurred. "_Today_."

"I know it's today. I know. What did you take?"

"Dunno. Dun' care."

"I know you don't," she murmured. It was stupid that he cared about her—they all knew it was stupid, caring about her, because she was going to die one day (one day soon), and there was nothing they could do about it.

But caring about Sasuke was stupider. Sakura brushed the hair out of his eyes, knelt down next to him, and pulled him up; propped him in the awkward nook between the sink and the tub.

"Please don't die," she told him gently. He gave her the best doped-up serious look she'd ever seen—it made her sad in a sick way. Doped-up Sasuke.

"Nah' yet," he replied, and pulled her towards him.


	11. dover's deck

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: sonya. & grey's.  
**notes**: weheartit = best thing ever.

**title**: dover's deck  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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Sakura sat on the dock, waving her feet above the water. The sky was neutral grey and chilled, drizzly and cool. She stared down into the dark water, toes dragging ripples back and forth. She kicked the water up and away, legs bare and flexed, hoping to watch it sparkle as it rained down around her.

But it was just dark and wet—clear cold droplets against her skin.

"You look like hell."

Sakura looked over her shoulder, green eyes glittering dangerous above deep purple shadows.

"You're not so pretty, yourself, mister. Come sit?" she replied, and patted the space on the dock to her left.

"Hn."

Sasuke sat down next to her.

For the next few minutes, the only sound was the _shh-shh_ of lapping waves. It was eerily calm in the wake of the previous night's debauchery. Sasuke thought about shattered mirrors on pebbled driveways and the way the world spun and spun around the girl on his right when she was high.

The strap of her top had slipped down her arm. He hitched it back up out of habit—muscle memory, born out of knowing one another for far too many years. Even after the cotton was back in its proper place his fingers lingered against the warm skin of her shoulder. He could feel her shivering beneath his touch.

Sakura looked up at him through lowered eyelashes and did not push him away.


	12. belladonna

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: les. again.  
**notes**: it's really cold outside.

**title**: belladonna  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

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Smoke filled the room. It had been hours since anyone had smoked anything, but the thick blue smoke had yet to dissipate; instead, it settled on the bodies and broken bottles littered around the place.

Sasuke pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose and hated everything.

The door to the kitchen was open a crack, and a thin slice of light fell along the floor. Sasuke shuffled towards it, careful not to trip over the girl passed out on the floor.

He pushed the door open another crack, and slipped inside.

Sakura was sitting at the table with her feet up, back towards him, dragging on a cigarette with a shitty cup of probably-cold coffee in hand. She tipped her head back, and blew a ring of smoke upwards.

"You are so fucking predictable, Sasuke," she murmured. "If I didn't know that it was you trying to care, it would make me sick."

She was staring out the window, and Sasuke couldn't help but feel that even though she was sitting not ten feet in front of him, she was a million miles away.

It was always like that.

Her eyes were green pits as she craned her neck to look at him. Her hair brushed along her collarbone as she almost-turned, and Sasuke realized she wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Fuck, Sakura, put on some clothes."

"Clothes are overrated," she told him, and turned back to the window.

He stayed silent, and watched her drop the butt of the cancer stick in the ashtray on the table. In the pale light of false dawn, she was almost simple, almost clean. Almost okay.

Sakura lit another cigarette, as if to prove him wrong.


	13. tar

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to my mommy.  
**notes**: i swear i am not on drugs. also, all these chapters are finished, so it's one a day for a month. yup.

**title**: tar  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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Sakura had a wine glass in her hand and the prayer of the teenage girl on her lips: sex, drugs, homework. Sex, drugs, homework. Sex, drugs, home—music.

Sex, drugs, music.

And Sasuke.

Sex, drugs, music, and Sasuke.

Sex, drugs, music, and Sasuke.

That worked, too.

She downed whatever was in the wine glass, and left it on the table. Arms around her waist, and she leaned back into someone's body.

"Hello, beautiful," breath on her ear, heavy, hot, _hello there_.

Sakura tipped her head back—lips on her throat, hand on her hip, other hand slipping up her shirt, warm skin against skin.

But it wasn't Sasuke. She didn't even know where Sasuke was.

So she felt dirty.

She felt dirty, and it was beautiful.

_The goal is to get so high that you can't remember him even if you try_.


	14. disco biscuits

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: my posse, yo.  
**notes**: still really cold outside.

**title**: disco biscuits  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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Hands everywhere, dancing up and down his arms. Sasuke had never been one that enjoyed the touch of strangers, and this was no different.

But Sakura was somewhere in the mass of people, and Sasuke had promised a long time ago to look after her. He passed through the masses of slowly-moving people, the radioactivity of too many bodies blocking all escape routes.

"Fuck," he breathed, and pressed himself against the wall.

"Dude, you gotta chill," someone growled to his left, and shoved something into his hands. "Take a tab, you'll feel better."

"No. Gotta find—"

"Shut the _fuck_ up, and _take_ it," the voice hissed, and Sasuke found himself swallowing a tiny pill, pale in the darkness of the room. He shoved off from the wall, gritting his teeth against the throng of people around him.

Where _was_ she?

Creeping feeling feathered up his body. Sasuke shoved past two girls, mouths locked, clicking teeth, and found Sakura, looking like raw talent wasted.

"Hey Sasuke," she murmured in his ear, arms already around his neck. Bare skin—Sasuke shuddered as Sakura rubbed her fingers along the nape of his neck.

The world slowed and tilted on it axis. Axis. Alyss. Access—

Sasuke dropped his head down, and pressed his lips to Sakura's shoulder. The beat of communication gone mad thrilled through him, sound into light, bouncing through his skull like charges of gravity.

He kissed her.

He kissed her and kissed her.

He couldn't stop.


	15. casper

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: lipgloss & gossip girl.  
**notes**: i want Helena Bonham Carter's babies. goddamn.  
**notes2**: omfg i do not have a backbone. also, boys suck.

**title**: casper  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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The late afternoon heat was a furnace.

Sakura stretched out on the couch under an awning on the back porch of the Uchiha home, cradling a cup. It had been cold water thirty seconds before. She fished around the bottom for the quickly-melting ice cubes.

The sound of the sliding glass door opening and closing caught Sakura's attention. She looked up, and smiled tiredly at Sasuke. He was holding a glass of something ice cold and murky, and Sakura couldn't help but reach for it. He held it out of her reach and drained it before she could say a word.

"It's so hot," Sakura murmured.

"Go inside," Sasuke replied. He sat five inches away from her, _five inches_, but it was enough that she could feel the extra heat off his body. It made her itch. It was hot, so hot, too hot, and Sasuke was not helping.

"No," she told him. They'd been best friends since the first day of forever, but Sasuke's house was sacred. Even standing in the foyer made her shake. Going inside, even to cool off?

No, never.

"You're crazy."

"You're sitting out here with me, aren't you? Who's crazy now?" she asked him. She'd finally managed to fish an ice cube out, and she pressed it to her neck. Sakura closed her eyes, and a soft sigh of relief escaped her mouth as a droplet of water slid down her throat.

Sasuke watched her with burning eyes.

"Something like that."


	16. thrust

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: les & picspam 2AM.  
**notes**: there is lipgloss and booze everywhere. what is wrong with this picture.

**title**: thrust  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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_You know you had fun when you can't tell your boyfriend what you did_.

Or so Sakura figured.

/ / /

Sakura grinned at Ino, and slipped under her arm. She danced through the room in slow motion, moving through cherry syrup-coloured light.

Dust and glitter rain from everywhere and it was music up through her legs, up through her arms, her body.

She shook and laughed, sat on the counter and took shot after shot after shot.

The beat was like a thudding heart.

_Th-thud, th-thud, th-thud_.

Sakura danced because dancing was what she was good at.

Dancing and forgetting.

But it was Sasuke who held her as she fell and fell and fell out of the sky, and that was something that was hard to forget.

"I think I love you, Sasuke. I think I love you but you don't love me and that hurts so I don't think we can be friends anymore."

He looked at her and wanted to try.

"Every time I tell you I love you," she murmured, "you leave. And I can't take you leaving again. I can't."

She slipped out of his arms.

"You're not allowed to follow me," she said.

So he didn't.

Sasuke stared at the dirty floor, before realizing that he didn't stand a chance.


	17. fort dodge

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: eleni.  
**notes**: harry potter and boy jeans make my life that much better.

**title**: fort dodge  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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Three weeks, six days they'd been gone.

Sakura had her hands fisted in her hair, and there were voices screaming—_I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you so much for doing this to me_—and it hurt.

It hurt.

_You should stop wearing his clothes_, a tired, sad voice advised, even as she wrapped herself in his shirt. It was pale blue, unbuttoned, loose down her front. It still smelled like him—leather and musk and night rain.

Nothing but his shirt. She was wearing nothing but Sasuke's shirt.

She did that, sometimes.

_He's __**gone**__, stupid_, the sad voice berated. _He's gone, and he's __**not coming back**_. And it hurt, it did. It hurt so much that she wasn't really sure what was going on and—

It was nighttime, again.

It was nighttime, again.

Her skin was cold against the window. Sakura thought of city lights and smears of colour and sharp metal, and she wondered. Wondered about the sky, and the blood beneath her skin, and a lot of other things.

Wondered where Sasuke was, wondered what he was doing, wondered if he wondered about her.

But he probably didn't.

Water dripped down the inside of the window from where it met her cheek.

It must have been raining.


	18. ice

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: glitter. les. best friend who is gone.  
**notes**: you and i have the type of animal magnetism people write love songs about.

**title**: ice  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

.

.

.

.

.

Before they left, the relationship had been soft-core porn, frozen yoghurt in late afternoon, chilled and cool, the splash of fresh water, a shout of joy as she crashed into his chest.

_Before_ they _left_.

"She's… different," a quiet voice said. Sasuke glanced at Naruto. The blond man was uncharacteristically quiet. They stood shoulder to shoulder, and watched their girl in the center of the room.

She danced in a tangle of limbs, heavy metal suicide in her smile.

"She is," Sasuke murmured, cryptic.

"What _did_ this to her?" Naruto asked. He looked wide-eyed and innocent; too sunny and good to be in a place like this—but then, Sakura had been good, once.

Sasuke shook his head slowly. He knew without needing to be told who had done this to her, because they had always done things like this to her. "We did."

He left Naruto at the wall, and made his way towards her.


	19. toxy

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: SNL. srsly.  
**notes**: may or may not be in love with Daniel Radcliffe. just sayin'.

**title**: toxy  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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.

.

.

.

A little girl in the cage-grasp of so many people, people all around, everywhere, with flashing lights and burning fingers and sound that came in visible waves like lightning. It was all around, all around, all around—

(_the world stopped and tilted and swayed_)

—and she was thinking things like _what's going on I don't get this you know_, because she was a coked-up girl named Sakura and things like this—they didn't work. They didn't work.

And Sasuke… well. He was something entirely different.

"Tell me how to fix this."

Was that Uchiha Sasuke pleading? No, it couldn't be.

"There's nothing to fix, Sasuke," Nighttime Sakura sang at four AM. "Nothing to fix, Sasuke, because we both messed up. We did. We did, we did, we did, did, did—"

He clapped a hand over her mouth. Beneath his fingers, her mouth stretched into a wild silent imp's laugh, and her tongue flicked out to drag along his palm. Sasuke pulled back, disgusted on principle.

Sakura smiled up at him. "I'm not broken, Sasuke," she breathed. "So stop trying to fix me."

She slipped out of his grip, so medicated through it all, and disappeared. She didn't look back, not even for a second.

Sasuke felt like a waste.


	20. silly putty

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: sonya.  
**notes**: i'm wishing i was still in my best friend's basement. this Real Life thing is shitty.

**title**: silly putty  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

.

.

.

.

.

Holding Sakura anywhere was hard.

But Sasuke was prone to trying, anyway.

"Don't fall in love with me," she teased one day, smiling. Sitting on the swing next to her, Sasuke snorted.

Like she had to warn him.

Sakura didn't look crestfallen at the sound (she should have—she would have, a year or five ago); she just ran a hand through just-shorn hair, the bangles around her wrists jangling merrily.

Neither said anything, and suddenly, Sakura was pumping her legs; she was swinging high above his head. At the peak of the swing, Sasuke looked up. She was a dark silhouette against the sun, and when she swung back, he caught a glance of her shirt.

Her shirt, white and loose, said **love is war.**

Sasuke had never believed anything as much as he believed that.

**love is war**.

**love is war**.

**love is war**.


	21. murder 8

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: mommy. les&rainbows&glitter.  
**notes**: strawberries&cream and ibuprofen = life

**title**: murder 8  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

.

.

.

.

.

"Sakura, you coming?" someone called. People were crowding at the front door, flip flops and denim cutoffs and oversize tanks and hats and _ew, hipsters_.

The pool hall was emptying out. Only the very regulars would be staying—Sakura could see Sasuke out of the corner of her eye. He was leaning against a pool cue and smirking, and something about it—something about him—made Sakura want to… to stay.

Sasuke looked at Sakura.

He just stood there, and looked at her. There was so much in that look—and Sasuke was her Sasuke. Dark eyes accused, and the smirk on his lips—

(and _oh dear god_, she prayed, _please make him stop being so fucking beautiful, because I can't take this anymore_)

—god, he knew how to hurt her.

She looked over to the front door. "Yeah!" she called to whoever it was. "Be there in a sec!"

She stopped, looked up at him and smiled, almost sad. "Bye, Sasuke."

Sasuke just shook his head. "Bye."

He looked away from her, and Sakura raised a hand to his arm, biting her lip. She didn't want this to happen—not right now, not ever, because he was Sasuke and she was Sakura and _this was not right_.

He jerked back sharply before she could touch him. "Don't."

Sakura shrunk back. "Oh. Um. Okay. Bye."

She turned and walked towards the hazy crowd of beautiful people.

When they were gone, Sasuke blew all the breath in his lungs out.

"You are such a fuckup," he told himself.


	22. vitamin r

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: rhys & bus adventures.  
**notes**: i listen to a lot of techno while writing this shit.

**title**: vitamin r  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

.

.

.

.

.

"Why the _fuck_ do you _do_ this to yourself?" Sasuke hissed.

Sakura giggled, high-pitched and shaking, and pressed her face into Sasuke's chest. "'Cos it's fun."

"Hn," Sasuke snarled.

Sakura smiled. "S'only time you pay attention to me, you know?"

How that even made sense in Sakura's head was a mystery to Sasuke. "You're all I ever pay attention to."

"Who're you kidding?"

She must have wanted to die. Her and her fast music and her dead lights, dead eyes, speed trains, pills, pills, pills; she was high fashion and higher heels, frayed denim and dregs of white powder.

He'd left her once, twice, three times; he was liable to do it again.

She looked at him, fingers held to her lips. She smiled a secret smile in a secret way that Sasuke didn't quite understand.

"Sakura…"

Her hands on either side of his face as she kissed him froze him in place.

"This is me, Sasuke," she said. "Fuck everyone else."

She kissed him again, mouth hot and shaking, falling sky and bad life decisions. She was a dead girl walking—living everyone else's messes. When she pulled away, Sasuke thought he understood—thought he understood it all. Thought her understood why she was so desperate. Why she was so broken.

He had left, but she was leaving all the time.

And once you started something like Sakura, there was no going back.

Sasuke should have known that from the start.


	23. black pearl

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to 3OH!3 & weheartit for the endless inspiration.  
**notes**: shit my eyes hurt.

**title**: black pearl  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

.

.

.

.

.

"What time is it?"

"Late."

The sound of rain against glass was gentle.

"Mnnmm. I don' wanna get up…"

"Then don't."

"You're funny, Sasuke," Sakura giggled, soft. She pushed the dingy white duvet off, and sat up. Her bedroom was dim, the light filtering through dark clouds and darker glass. "Look, it's raining."

"Hn."

"It looked like this the day you left," she said.

Sasuke winced. "Sakura…"

She twisted her body and smiled down at him. She looked a little lost and a lot sad. "I know you didn't mean to leave. I even know that you didn't even want to. But you did. You took Naruto with you, and you left. I know it was unavoidable. I know that."

She stopped, paused, and thought about her next words very carefully. "But a goodbye would have been nice."

"Hn," Sasuke murmured.

A goodbye probably would have killed him.

Not that that was something she needed to know.

Sakura looked out the window again. "Home always was sleeping beside you on a rainy day."

Sasuke almost reached towards her and pulled her back down. Yes, that was home—bedsheets and duvet covers, stuffed animals and feather pillows, rain against the windows and Sakura curled up next to him. Yes, that was home.

Just as he was about to pull her back towards him, she shook her head. She couldn't even look at him. "I have to go."

Sasuke watched her as she got up and gathered her clothes, and did not say a word as she left.


	24. microdot

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to my three House Unity sisters.  
**notes**: HARRY POTTER PARTIES FTW.

**title**: microdot  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

.

.

.

.

.

With a sputter, the engine died as Sasuke parked at the bottom of the long driveway up to Sakura's house. The sky was black—thick with clouds, no stars. The street was empty, the long, private roads dark.

It felt like they were the only people alive in the whole world.

"Your parents are home," Sasuke said.

"Are they?" she mumbled.

"The light is on."

"Ugh."

He looked over at her. She was staring out the window, curled up in the seat like a cat. The streetlamp's orange light glanced sickly off her skin.

"Looks like rain," she said, softly.

"Hn."

She pushed too-long bangs out of her eyes as she looked at him. Just looked. She clambered across the seat into his lap. On the side of the road, in the recline of the seat, pressed close, close, close together, Sakura told Sasuke the truth.

"You should move on."

She almost kissed the words into his mouth, into his heart.

Almost.

Sasuke clenched his jaw, and reached up to pull her that hairsbreadth closer. "I _can't_," he murmured. "I've tried."

"I know," she whispered back.

And then she was kissing him, and Sasuke forgot to think.


	25. paper acid

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to shoes, alcohol, techno & boys.  
**notes**: just keep breathing. everyone dies eventually.

**title**: paper acid  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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.

.

.

.

Her eyes were wide and empty and sad, in a teardrop face that belonged to someone much, much younger then what those wide empty sad eyes suggested.

He didn't know her, anymore.

But that didn't mean he wasn't going to kiss her.

"We'll never have to remember this," Sakura told him, pressed close, so close, too close, but never close enough. "It doesn't have to be real. We can forget all about it."

"I know," he murmured as he kissed her, he kissed her.

The music was alive through her whole body, up from the pounding bass downstairs, and Sasuke—oh, she loved Sasuke. But he didn't know that, didn't need to know it, because he was good at leaving and she was better at being high.

And they'd already proven that they weren't very good at being together.

"Promise me we won't remember it?" she asked with a shiver. She tugged at his shirt, because she wanted it off, take it off, take it off, _take it off_.

"Promise." He hiked her up against the door of the bedroom. The world was airless and too warm, broiling hot.

"Please, Sasuke, _please_," she whimpered.

"Saku-_ra_," he snarled against her throat, pulled her shirt off, ground against her hips.

"Oh my god Sasu—oh my god, oh my god ohmigodohmigodohmi_god_…"

They never made it to the bed.


	26. blue kisses

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to never preparing. Also Jimmy Eat World 4AM.  
**notes**: we smoke cigarettes and puff the smoke skyward. hug my neck & kiss my face. imusm.

**title**: blue kisses  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

.

.

.

.

.

The sky was grey that day.

(The sky had been grey all summer—Sakura didn't know why she was still surprised.)

"You want to what?"

"I want to go for a walk."

"It's going to rain."

"It's been _going to rain_ all summer, Sasuke. I want to go for a walk. Because you're going to be—"

Sasuke made a noise low in his throat to cut off her next words.

He didn't want to hear her say it.

A sigh escaped him. "Fine. Right now?"

Sakura rolled less-shadowed-than-usual green eyes skyward. "Yes, right now."

He couldn't deny her anything (except maybe staying). And this—this was something so small that to deny would be to ruin everything, and not even Sasuke had the stomach for that.

They walked in silence. The farther from the house they got, the darker the sky turned, and Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if all the pills had finally destroyed what was left of the girl he'd grown up with.

(But that was a morbid thought he did not want to dwell on.)

"Stop. Sasuke, stop!" Sakura said.

He stopped, and looked down at her. She was standing next to him, eyes closed, and taking deep, deep breaths of humid, pre-rain air.

"It's going to—"

The sky broke open and poured.

They both stood there, for a minute.

And then Sakura was laughing and laughing, and Sasuke had never heard anything quite as beautiful. He grinned down at her, a little, because she was Sakura again. She was innocent again.

She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you," she murmured. "For this."

He slipped his arms around her, lifted her up, and kissed her quiet in a cloudburst.


	27. skippy

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: stilettos & feather pillows.  
**notes**: all this time is wasted, pretending we're in love.

**title**: skippy  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

.

.

.

.

.

She was gone when he woke up.

Sasuke blinked against the light filtering in through his window. Her side of the bed was still rumpled, but cold.

She'd been gone for hours.

He covered his eyes with his arm. The light was killing his eyes, killing his head, killing his conviction. He hadn't thought it was going to hurt this much; her leaving. He knew she was going to, because leaving was something that everyone did—Sakura was just late to the party.

She'd always been the type to be late to her own funeral, so it really shouldn't have surprised him.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Sasuke breathed.

Sometimes, he really fucking hated karma.

But most times, he just really fucking hated himself.


	28. whiteout

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to eleni's basement. srsly.  
**notes**: i stand here and watch you crumble / i stand here and watch you fall.

**title**: whiteout  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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.

.

.

.

Sakura sat on her bed and looked around.

The room was stripped bare—she'd packed her whole life away into the trunk at her feet. She'd packed away linens and shoes and dresses and skirts and shirts and shorts and _everything_. It was all tucked away, neat and tidy and perfect.

She could call a taxi.

It would take her to a train station. Or an airport.

And she could go. Go anywhere.

She didn't have to stay.

But then she thought of Sasuke and what he would (or wouldn't) say. She thought of nighttime and miniskirts and how far they'd all come. She thought of Naruto and Ino and that truck and sunrise and sunset and the sweet, far-away shaking feeling of ecstasy in her veins.

Sakura left her bare room and lit a joint on her way outside.

She'd unpack later. Sometimes, the thought of running away was the only thing keeping her going. Sakura was an adrenaline junkie. Running away was a good option, she guessed.

She just needed a fix.

And Sasuke wasn't always her drug of choice.

She dialled his number anyway.


	29. king ivory

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: to cupcakes.  
**notes**: i'm wearing Gryffinwhore socks. life is so good.

**title**: king ivory  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

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.

.

.

.

Being alone and sober was still a little awkward, Sakura decided. The back of Sasuke's truck was most comfortable during the later evening, when the metal was cool, and the sun was just beginning to set, tainting everything burning gold.

She pulled her knees to her chest. "Why did you leave?"

The sky pressed down on them, suffocating and forever-blue.

Sasuke's breath escaped through his teeth in a hiss. "Because I had no choice."

They sat together very quietly. _This is what watching someone crumble is like_, Sakura thought.

But she _just couldn't stop_.

"Why didn't you say goodbye?" she asked.

She'd always wanted to know that. More than anything, she'd wanted to know that.

Sasuke stared at the ceiling. "Because I didn't know _how_."


	30. clarity

**disclaimer**: disclaimed.  
**dedication**: peace, happiness, glitter & love.  
**notes**: let's watch the rain fall / let it wash away our innocence. LOL IT'S FRIDAY.

**title**: clarity  
**summary**: AU drabble!series. Ohio in the summer—drugs and dancing, drinking and dying and driving off into the sunrise. Sasuke and Sakura explore it all.

—

.

.

.

.

.

Sakura stood on the edge of a field of sleeping yellow flowers, arms wrapped around herself to ward the chill of the early, early morning off. The sun was far to the east, a grey-pink-gold glow that was getting steadily brighter as time went on.

She stared out straight, clenched-jawed and sad. She dropped her hands to her sides, and sighed.

"I'm so tired, Sasuke," she said softly. "Like… I'm so, _so_ sick of this. All of it."

He stepped up next to her, hands shoved in his pockets. "Hn."

"And, you know what, god, I can't even _take_ you!" she burst out, angrily. She looked up at him. "I can't _take_ you, because you make me _crazy_ and then I do _stupid_ things, and it's just—it's not even _fair_!"

Sasuke caught her wrist in his fingers. "I know."

"No, you don't. You don't know at all," she murmured, and her fingers curled through his out of long-forgotten habit. "You don't stay. And I need—"

Sasuke shook his head. No, he knew that she needed someone who would stay.

But.

"I can't promise I won't leave," Sasuke said slowly, measuring.

Sakura wouldn't look at him. She tried to yank her hand out of his, and nearly snarled when his grip remained tight.

"But I can promise that I'll take you with me when I go," he continued quietly, staring straight ahead. "If that's enough…"

He relaxed his grip; Sakura had stopped trying to pull away. She seemed frozen in place, head down, staring at his chest. For a very long time, she said nothing. The gold glow from the rising sun was dazzling as it broke over the horizon.

Sasuke held his breath, and _wished_.

"I think," Sakura said, looking up with a radiant smile, "that that… I think it's enough."

Sasuke nodded, and slid his arm around her shoulders.

It was okay. It was okay.


End file.
